My Homebirth #2

At the end of my last homebirth post, I commented that I probably would do another homebirth.  Obviously, from the title of this post, I did have a second homebirth.


Now, here's the rest of the story...

I found out I was pregnant early on.  I can't even remember how I told my hubs or how we told our family members this time.  With the first, we did it up big in front of everyone with Grandpa/Grandma certificates and "Prego it's in there" signs.  With the second, we had #1 (who wasn't even 1) wear a "big brother" t-shirt when everyone came over.  With #3, we put a post-it that said, "#3 will be arriving in late October" in the back of a book of pictures the grandparents were looking at.  #4...hm.  I'll have to ask someone!  (Just asked Mom and she said we told them over the phone.) 

I liked my last midwife a lot.  I met a girl shortly after I became pregnant who was talking to me about her midwife and she sounded like someone I wanted to look into using.  We made an appointment to meet her.  She was a CPM and didn't have an office.  She would only do home visits which worked out perfectly so I wouldn't have to find someone to watch the other 3 while I went in for appointments.  She was very sweet and a Christian!  Worked for me!

This pregnancy followed along with my other boy pregnancies--easy for me, no headaches, no morning sickness.  We also had a sonogram at a local pregnancy center and the nurse guessed we were having a boy.  Since I was keeping up with three little ones, I was tired and had back pains pretty regularly but nothing I couldn't handle.

On July 6 (Saturday), I started having some harder contractions while we were having dinner at CiCi's.  I started timing them at that point.  They were randomly spaced around 7-10 minutes.  I let my midwife and parents know about it.  My parents said to let them know if they kept going, "even at 4am."  They were going to plan to come in the next day if the contractions kept up.  They kept going throughout the evening and were even keeping me up at night.  Around 4:00, I got up to go to the bathroom.  Since they had said to let them know, even around that time, I decided to text...and woke them up.  So they headed this way around 6.  Shortly after that, my contractions basically went to nothing.  I was still having some but they weren't regular and they weren't very strong.  I was starting to wonder if this would be the day or not.

Sunday came and went with really no change.  Easy, random contractions.  My midwife was coming for an appointment on Monday so she decided not to come before then unless I needed her.  I had another night where I was awake some with contractions and didn't sleep really well.

When my midwife arrived on Monday at 11 for my appointment, she had everything she would need for a birth ready to go.  I was having some hard contractions that I couldn't really talk through but they were spaced out.  She said that we would probably meet the baby that day and I was kind of surprised.  We then camped out in the living room while I tried to rest some and tried a few positions to get comfortable.  The contractions were still about 10 minutes apart.  She suggested a couple of ideas to get contractions going and get my body ready.

We got the tub ready a few hours after lunch and I got in.  It sure felt nice but I still felt like maybe this was all mental since my contractions weren't as strong as I remembered the last birth's being and they were still about every 10 minutes.  I was so tired, I just wanted it over!

I tried a few things to get the contractions going and get myself comfortable when I would have contractions.  I was talking, laughing and joking around most of the time.  It was pretty easy leading up to this point.
Then it happened.  Crazy hard contractions, negative thoughts in my head, and total fear.  I was done.  I thought I wasn't progressing and I was going to have to be transferred to the hospital.  I thought I wasn't going to be able to push, so I decided to just start trying to push.  Skipping a few details, I pushed on and off for 30 minutes or so praying that this would end.  I was in PAIN and I was TIRED!  He was either coming out then or he wasn't coming out.  I pushed and yelled and let them know I was hurting! 

Finally on July 8 at 5:17pm, I pushed this little vernix-covered baby into the world with a "Thank you, Lord!".  He was perfectly healthy and quickly learned to eat and sleep like a champ.  Daddy even did a great job of helping me even though he felt really sick that day and the next! When Daddy got to tell everyone his name, they thought we were joking.

Welcome to the world,

Enoch Adoniram

8 lbs.

21 inches

He is now 8 weeks old and I'm so glad that today isn't 8 weeks ago!  I'm so glad he is here and has found his place in our family of 6.  Life has been good and great fun adjusting to 4 kids 4 and under!  My cousin's baby was also born on the same day, just a few hours earlier, so we thought that was really cool. 

Enoch--Enoch walked with God and then he was no more.  God took him, he did not die.  Our pastor did a sermon about Enoch a few weeks before he arrived, before we had agreed on this name.  I was totally against it even though it had been on my husband's list for a while at that point.  I did a little more practicing saying it, writing it out and researching it before agreeing to use it.

Adoniram--Adoniram Judson was the first Baptist missionary.  He went to Burma.  We have a book that talks about different missionaries, church leaders, martyrs, etc. throughout history.  It has a different person each day and I read about Adoniram a few months before the birth.  I liked this name as a first name for a long time but agreed to it as a middle name. 

My Journey to Choosing Home Birth

One evening, I was home alone, so I decided to watch the movie I had rented from the library, The Business of Being Born (you can also see the whole documentary here on youtube). I was 10 weeks pregnant at this time and about to go see my doctor for my first prenatal visit. Some things in the video that grabbed me were women telling their stories. There were live births that were shown in homes, in water tubs, in hospitals. I understood the hospital births, but I had never pictured myself giving birth at home. I have one friend who has given birth at home…three times. I have always thought she was crazy and said I would NEVER do that!

Halfway through the movie, I stopped it, got on the computer and e-mailed my home birth friend asking her a lot of questions. Then I started looking up midwives in the area and e-mailing them. What was I doing? I hadn’t even talked to my husband about this! I just knew, based on statistics and stories in the video that I did not want to deliver this third baby in the hospital with my OB. The OB I found while searching for a Pro-Life OB/GYN in our area. The OB who had delivered our 2 previous boys. The OB I told I missed seeing when in for an appointment before I found out I was pregnant with Baby 3. The hospital I had just driven by with my mom and said, “I love that hospital.” The hospital that claims to be “Baby Friendly.”

With my first baby, I had wanted to go natural, to birth in a tub, but the tub was “taken” when we arrived at the hospital in full labor one week before my due date. I labored for hours being monitored, walking around the halls with strangers staring at me, lying in the bed, being poked and prodded. Since I wasn’t “progressing fast enough” I was told I would have Pitocin and I knew I didn’t want that without an epidural. A few hours later, a few pushes later, he arrived!

With my second baby, I was done, so my doctor scheduled an induction with Cervidel one day after my due date. I labored all night long while my husband slept on the fold out couch next to me. In the morning, they offered me the epidural as the anesthesiologist was making his rounds and passing them out. Without a second thought, I took one. A few hours later, a few pushes later (after being told I had almost gotten an emergency C-section because his heart rate was dropping too low), he arrived!

You see, I’ve always wanted to experience giving birth and I know the epidural, the hospital, the OB have kept me from doing that. I wanted things to be different this time and I had learned a few things through my research. I know that the pain of labor goes away as soon as the baby is born. The pain is not an injury pain, it is accomplishing something…moving the baby down and delivering the baby! There are pauses in between the contractions which allow for some rest, so it is not hours of constant pain. Millions of women before me have given birth naturally and safely. One in THREE births in hospitals result in a C-section.

I set out to educate myself more and picked up a copy of Ricki Lake’s Your Best Birth. It was obviously slanted in a midwife/home birth way, but I loved all of the information. It made sense. I knew this was for me and my husband agreed. Besides my friend, I had no one else who had given birth at home, although my father-in-law was born at home many years ago!

I talked to my parents about this and assured them that I was looking into this with an open mind and was NOT planning a home birth, but instead a birthing center birth. I made two appointments with midwives and asked lots of questions on local forums. Come to find out, there are lots of people out there who have given birth at home or a birthing center!

I met the first midwife and liked her (a former LDR nurse). She had a birthing center in her office and also would do a home birth. She worked alone and I would have all of my appointments with her. The second was a group of three midwives. They would use the birthing center or I could be one of the two that they would allow each month to birth at home if I signed up early enough for their services. Then it would be the luck of the draw of who I would end up with at the birth. They have a beautiful birthing center, but there was nothing there that we didn’t have at home—including a claw foot tub! I told my husband that felt like going to a hotel to give birth…and they kick you and the new baby out within 3-5 hours after giving birth as long as everything is okay.

At this point, we decided that a home birth would best suite us and we chose the first midwife. My parents are, at this point, thinking that I’m going nuts! I am reading books, forums, blogs and anything else I can get my hands on about birthing at home. My favorites so far have been Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and Your Best Birth. I have bought quite a few others to read too.

So basically, I have a few main reasons that I want to deliver this baby at home. I want to experience labor and delivery without drugs (who knows if the rise in ADHD in children is also due to a rise in epidurals, Pitocin, etc.). I want to be comfortable to labor and deliver as I want, wearing what I want, being in whatever location I want surrounded only by those who love and support me, not strangers. I want to trust my body, God, my midwife and my husband to help me get through this process safely. If something happens and I need to be transported to the hospital (or my baby does), I know this can be done safely and quickly. I am much less likely to have a C-section.

When I first started thinking about this, it made me sick to my stomach every time. Now, I look forward to it with eager anticipation. We are not finding out the gender of our baby (once again) and are excited to see what God decides to add to our family. I can’t wait to welcome this baby into our arms, family and home! This is our current plan, but we always remember what Proverbs 19:21 says, “Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.”

My Planned Home Birth FAQs

I have one friend who has given birth at home. When she first did that, I thought she was crazy!! Now that I'm planning a home birth, I have been doing a lot of research about birthing at home. When I mention it to my friends, family or strangers, I often get a lot of funny looks and questions.

Here are a few of them:

1. Are you going to give birth in your bed?
I will give birth wherever is comfortable, but I haven't ruled out giving birth in or next to the bed.
2. Are you going to labor or birth in your tub?
Again, I'm not sure where I'll end up giving birth, but I do plan to use the bathtub at some point. We have a large claw-foot tub in the middle of our bathroom, so it should work out well.
3. Who is going to clean up?
My midwife and her assistant stay around for a few hours afterward to clean up, keep an eye on the baby and me and take care of any final things they need to do.
4. How did you pick your midwife?
I did a ton of research, but starting at 12 weeks pregnant looking for a midwife, I kind of wanted to get it done. I e-mailed a few CPMs, but we decided to go with a CNM because of the nursing background. I interviewed a birthing center in the area, but we thought that felt more like just going to some hotel to deliver--plus they kick you and the baby out a few hours after birth. So we met with the midwife we chose and really liked her. She had a lot of helpful insights and treated us well.
5. Are you going to have any pain medication?
No, I will be using relaxation methods, water, etc. to help deal with my pain. Plus I plan to focus on Scripture and pray a lot!! Doing a home birth pretty much ensures that you're going to go natural.
6. What happens if there is an emergency?
My midwife brings along a lot of supplies in case there is a minor problem. If there is something major, we can transport to one of the local (close) hospitals. We can either go in the car or call an ambulance if needed. We do not anticipate a problem, but if one arises, we will be prepared and follow the advice of our midwife.
7. When will your midwife come over?
She will be here while I am in active labor. She will come over when we call and tell her that my contractions are 5 minutes apart and lasting about 60 seconds for an hour. When I am "working with" them, breathing through them and focusing.
8. Will she have an assistant?
She will have a birthing assistant with her. Plus my mom and husband will be there!
9. Does she bring everything you need?
She gave me a list of supplies I need at home like towels, diapers, a birthing kit that I ordered online, a heating pad, thermometer, etc. She brings the other necessary supplies including oxygen, IVs and other supplies that she will need (whatever those might be)! Pretty much anything that is available at the birthing center she will bring with her. These are also items that are available at the hospital.
10. What made you decide to do this?
My other blog post here explains pretty well.
11. Were your other babies born naturally?
My other two were born in a hospital with epidurals. This will be my first unmedicated birth!
12. What is going to happen with your 2 other children while you give birth?
Someone will take care of them if it is during the day. If it is night, they will be sleeping. They will not be participating in the birth!
13. Are you crazy?
Nope. I just want to protect my baby and myself as much as possible now that I have read a lot more about birth and what I want it to be like that I don't think I can achieve in a hospital setting.

What other questions do YOU have?